TwIsTeD Reflections

Just had a very entertaining conversation with Claire, an old colleague from my CPF days(before army). Here is how I knew her. When i saw her, i was intrigued by her overall looks, complete with funky red-rimmed specs. Nope, not love at first sight tt kind of thing, just intrigued. Bt we talked very little at our time in CPF, although apparently I left a good impression on her(i suspect flattery). But we did exchange emails and it was through msn that we started to talk, as if we are old frens. In fact, she was the one who convinced me to enter Banking and Finance.

Mayb we already were already good friends. Which is why i felt it strange. On how the impact of the internet can actually strengthen relationships between people who hav hardly met, or even met at all. What constitutes a friendship,or rather what creates friendship, if it is not face-to-face interaction? After pondering on this question for a while, I did not, could not, come to a satisfactory answer. Which is why this is a TwIsTeR Ramblings and not TwIsTeR Insights- Im just rambling out my thinking.


First of i must set the context straight here. Im not toking about casual 'friends' or acquaintances. Im not toking about the people you just say 'Hi' and 'Bye' to (which is what Claire and I were when we were colleagues). Im toking abt the special bond that exists between you and that other person. No, not love, at least not that type of love, or lust, jus pure plain platonic friendship. That friend is one who you can tell ur true feelings to, one that you can feel comfortable with, spoken or even with just the mere presence.

So what constitutes that friendship? Must there be interaction involved, internet or otherwise? I think not. Lemme explain. Imagine this: 2 students studying together for an examination together. They dont know each other. One forgets to bring the oh-so-important calculator. The other lends the forgetful one an extra calculator, without a word. They enter the examination hall, and leave as friends. Has it occured to you? It has for me, so i know it is true. The bond was already been built, through a small token of kindness, and should the 2 meet n speak to each other again, they will realise that they have become frens.

The mistake is thinking that it is the speaking that triggered that friendship, and not the action of lending the calculator. True, the 2 may not meet again, or speak again after the event and the bond will fizzle out. But that does not mean the bond was not there in the first place.

So, back to the question: What constitutes a friendship? It is sad that sum people freely, carelessly call ppl their friends. And yet, these friends take advantage of them, talk behind their back, etc. in a purposeful, spiteful manner. With friends like this, who needs enemies? So the title of friendship cannot be freely given, even if one wants to.
Because, if the bond is absent, you can call the relationship what you want, but it is not friendship.

So the answer is not either the 2. You cant call a relationship a friendship if it is one-sided; interactions, while it may help the friendship) it doesnt cause it. Could it be shared interest, and therefore creation of a bond? I highyly doubt it, as friends who are totally different from each other does exist.

My theory, while far from a conclusive argument, is that friendship is a subset of love, or vice versa. It is strange putting intangible values such as love and friendship into a mathematical type of scenario such as subsets, but one cannot argue the 2 are closely related. So to answer what causes friendship, or what constitues friendship is probably the same as what causes love?

If that is the theory, then that is where the questioning stops, since is a mystery for even the best psychologists. If we could find out what causes love, we can manufacture love, something which is impossible to do. Perhaps the best answer is that it just happens, and just enjoy it, appreciate it.

P.S. To my friends, thank you for your guidance and your love. Thank you for listening, for giving, for confessing, for telling the truth.I hope that we may remain as friends, for even if time tears us apart, friendship still binds us indefinitely.